I have been doing a lot of research about PCOS because I'm considering doing some alternative treatments.
And I came across some links on Soulcysters about the links between PCOS and depression. And ya know, I have been depressed for a LONG time. I've been struggling with it for about 8 years on and off.
It's just ONE more thing on that list of crap that PCOS has screwed up ya know?
AF arrived on my bday, which was Monday. I tried to keep it together so I wouldn't ruin my birthday, but yesterday I just let it hit me and I decided to take a break from TTC for a couple months. This last cycle has been really hard on my body and emotionally too.
I just want to SCREAM right now. My depression has screwed up a bunch of stuff in my life. Granted, I hold a lot of responsibility. But if it wasn't for the depression I probably could have handled things a LOT better in the past.
I am angry about a lot of things, but today is a culmination of my anger at my body. I suppose it's a long time coming since I have been trying to repress it for a couple months now.
I am angry because I have to take a break for my mental sanity. I'm angry because I have had to put my body through all this for what seems to be nothing. I am angry because I'm fat and someone asked me last week if I was pregnant. I am just downright angry.
So yeah- screw PCOS. It sucks.