Bad Day

Well, bad week actually.

It looks like I won't be having a baby in 2010. That means it will be 2011 before I have a baby in my arms, if at all. There is still a VERY slight chance that I might get PG this cycle. I'm only on CD18 and I might still ovulate.

But as we all know, hope can be a VERY delicate balance. You can't hope TOO much, or you will end up deluding yourself. But if you don't hope at all then what is the point?!?

So if I ovulate in the next 4 days, and get pregnant- then my EDD would be about December 31st LOL. So I might still end up with a 2010 baby...

But then of course- I have to stop myself from thinking like that, because of course- I need to be realistic. And I have an appt next thursday with the RE. And even if I don't O on my own again, we are going to have a PLAN!!! And the doctor will help us, and we will have a better chance of getting pregnant. So there IS HOPE!

So that? Up there? That insanity? That's my brain in the last week. I go back and forth between hope and realism.

And then I read stories like THIS one. An adoptive mother sends her 7 year old son back to Russia where she adopted him from. Apparently the boy had some emotional problems and was violent.

I don't know about others, but since I have explored the adoption option- I have been informed at least 4 times that any child we adopt could have any variety of problems. And when you adopt older children- the potential problems multiply!!

So I have a hard time believing that this woman was truly blindsided when the child she adopted presented with emotional and violence problems. She is an idiot. And to add insult to injury, the Russian government is considering freezing ALL american adoptions!

I am truly sorry for this poor boy and for any couple who is currently in the process of adopting from Russia!