Wednesday, May 12, 2010

I love my husband

(Three blog posts in one day? WHAT!?)

I can't remember if I posted about keeping my Goddaughter Leah this week or not. She is 2 1/2 and has DH wrapped around her tiny little finger.

She is understandably a little upset when we put her to bed because she misses her mommy. Bedtime has been a little rough, but not too bad. She was crying after we put her down and since I put her down, DH went up there 5 min later. He told her that it was OK, and that she was safe and that "Unc Paul" and Aunt Stephie were downstairs. She said OK and went right to sleep.

The smile on his face when he came downstairs is priceless. As was the look on his face when he was reading her a bedtime story. I can't help but cry today over that. I can't help but wonder how long it will take us to have our own child (biological or otherwise) permanently in our home. This man has SO MUCH love to give kids, and trust me, he does his best to spread the love to our nieces and nephews. But it breaks my heart to see how happy this makes him and know that it won't last forever.

But watching the two of them together is priceless. She follows him around when he is home. If she can't find him she will ask for him by name. I haven't been blessed with a title of Auntie yet. She just calls me Stephanie. But she calls him "Unc Paul" and it makes me melt every.single.time!!

This has turned into ab it of a rant. Today has been a roller coaster of emotions. I am doing better this evening, most likely thanks to Leah, but I'm sure the negative emotions will come back.

I'm mostly angry at myself for getting my hopes up like I did.

I'm hoping the Dr will have a better plan tomorrow and we can start the next cycle ASAP. I asked if I could start progesterone today to induce AF, but the nurse wanted me to wait LOL. I am a little impatient ;)

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