Wednesday, October 14, 2009


A friend of mine who has also suffered from IF coined this term in reference to the advice that you inevitably  hear when you are unable to conceive as quickly as you would like. Assvice. As in- it's coming out your a**.

I have been hearing a LOT of it from my family lately, and I have noticed that I tolerate it much more from some people than others. For example- my aunt, who I love and care for and knows the whole story and just give me a hug when I need it. She sometimes tells me if I just relax, it will be fine. I don't like it, but I tolerate it because I know that she just has nothing else to say anymore.

And then there is my cousin. She is a harsh person who always says what she is thinking and it often makes me feel like crap. Well when I made a comment to the lines of "Everybody is pregnant" she told me in no uncertain terms that I needed to "Chill the f*** out"

Thanks. Really. That's gonna help. Is THAT what it's going to take to make my ovaries work? WHY didn't I try that before? I'm SO glad you set me straight on that.

I used to try and explain why relaxing won't work for me. But now, I just nod and change the subject. Because explaining inevitably leads to more useless advice and I'm just tired of it. Especially from people who really just want to hear themselves talk.


  1. I'm glad I could give you a laugh. :)
    That's really nice about the "chill the f out" comment. I can't BELIEVE more of us infertiles haven't thought of that!

  2. It takes more energy to try and explain than to divert the topic as quickly as you can. Visiting from LFCA. Check out my non profit Parenthood for blog and website. Our mission is to provide financial and emotional support to those building families through adoption or medical intervention. I look forward to reading your blog.

  3. I just found your blog from LFCA. Loved the "assvise" terminology. Definitley will be useful as we all are at the receiving end of assvise going through IF. Lots of luck to you!